When fear dims the light of my vision,
When sin steals, my will and resolve.
Your mercy I will remember,
That a river of your blood ran down the cross.
You are a mighty river, a reservoir for the thirsty soul.
My God and my deliverer, you are the only one who makes me whole.
Copyright Jeremiah Jones
When sin steals, my will and resolve.
Your mercy I will remember,
That a river of your blood ran down the cross.
You are a mighty river, a reservoir for the thirsty soul.
My God and my deliverer, you are the only one who makes me whole.
Copyright Jeremiah Jones
I lost it today. 2 hours worth of begging, pleading, being nice...and then exploding on my 4 year old over a nap. The problem is, I know that when we get in the car for me to go to work, if he does not nap now, he will instantly fall asleep then. Which then puts him at a late nap...which means he won't go to sleep until late...which means I am tired. And unfortunately, I am already tired today because he was up in the middle of the night last night. So, I had had enough. (don't judge me...you know you have too):).
So as I write this, he is finally asleep...and now I have time to reflect on the last 2 hours of my life. I am ashamed and wanting to make excuses for it. The good thing is that it has made me reflect on God's love for us. I texted Andy and said..."how can you love someone so much and them make you so angry"??? And then it hit me. "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"...and my heart is now broken. Andy said "he is 4" almost as if God said it through him...and I wanted to scream back..."but he is so annoying sometimes!"....and I felt like God said "tell me about it" (in reference to me). We are his children. Yes he disciplines us and sometimes it is painful...but his mercies are like a river...so forgiving and so limitless. So...I am asking for God to forgive me for letting my anger get out of control to the point that I felt the need to yell at my child. The sweet little boy that He placed in my womb and my arms 4 years ago. He deserves an example of grace...with discipline that is firm and calm. So...I plan on apologizing when he wakes up...but the consequences will stand:) because God is not a pushover...and neither am I. But He is patient because He knows that I am not perfect and I have a long way to go. I have to remember that about Micah too. Thank you Jesus for revealing your love for me even in my short falls.
So as I write this, he is finally asleep...and now I have time to reflect on the last 2 hours of my life. I am ashamed and wanting to make excuses for it. The good thing is that it has made me reflect on God's love for us. I texted Andy and said..."how can you love someone so much and them make you so angry"??? And then it hit me. "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"...and my heart is now broken. Andy said "he is 4" almost as if God said it through him...and I wanted to scream back..."but he is so annoying sometimes!"....and I felt like God said "tell me about it" (in reference to me). We are his children. Yes he disciplines us and sometimes it is painful...but his mercies are like a river...so forgiving and so limitless. So...I am asking for God to forgive me for letting my anger get out of control to the point that I felt the need to yell at my child. The sweet little boy that He placed in my womb and my arms 4 years ago. He deserves an example of grace...with discipline that is firm and calm. So...I plan on apologizing when he wakes up...but the consequences will stand:) because God is not a pushover...and neither am I. But He is patient because He knows that I am not perfect and I have a long way to go. I have to remember that about Micah too. Thank you Jesus for revealing your love for me even in my short falls.
No comments:
Post a Comment