I don't want to just exist...

So, this is my attempt to start a blog and just be honest. So many things run through my head every day...and today's theme is...I don't want to just exist. So many people, myself included lately, just go through life existing. Trying to make it through every day, good or bad. Frankly, I am tired of it...for myself and everyone else. I sat over a table with a few ladies today, discussing anxiety, parenthood and life. And wanting to cry out to them..."You don't have to just 'get by'"...God wants so much more for us. So I began to ponder what I want in life...and here are a few of those things...not in this order technically...
1-I want to love my husband well. I want people to look at our love as an example of the love Christ has for each of us-seeing as how that is the purpose of marriage. I want my kids to watch us and want what we have. No marriage is perfect...and they all require tons of work...but I WANT to do that work! I want to create a home where my boys never have to worry about whether their parents will be together forever. That's the #1 fear I hear from kids I work with every day...and I want to make sure it does not rear it's ugly head in my family and in the hearts of my boys.
2-I want my boys to look back on their childhood and remember a mother who was full of joy and thanksgiving. I want them to see me love on other people and make a difference. I want them to learn to be servants because they saw their parents serving others. I want them to be content with what they have...and thankful that they have it. I want them to see God in everything...and I pray I can lead them to Him.
3-I want to wake up every morning and feel God's presence so strongly in everything I do. I want to enjoy each day that I have with my family and not live in fear of the days I won't have with them.
4-I want to be thankful for what we have and not join the game of "who has the most stuff". Sometimes I want more or better stuff...but what I really want is to be satisfied with where God has placed us. I don't want to care about these things that are here today but could be gone tomorrow. I have a roof over my head, furniture, a floor, and lots of stuff I don't need...and that's more than most people in the world.
I could probably go on for days...and I might add some more over the next few weeks. I want this blog to be about sharing the journey I am on...along with the 3 dudes in my life that God has blessed me with. I want to share the good and not so good moments in life...because I want to be real. So...as usual, I will probably say too much and let people into my life a little too far...but hopefully being an open book will inspire other people to do the same...and maybe I can prevent people from just existing in their own lives...